A Trifling Matter

You may or may not know that it's British Food fortnight at the moment, and considering I'm a fairly patriotic blogger I thought I really had to make time for this one -- I was even organised enough to fit in making this before I left home to start uni at the weekend! Don't all die of shock just yet; I've been so busy that I almost forgot to post it.

The student diet of, er, toast (largely) means I don't feel like I've particularly made the most of BFF, but fortunately the brilliant Antonia of Food, Glorious Food has been flying the (union) flag with her British Food Fortnight Challenge!

I couldn't resist an opportunity to make a 'thoroughly British dish', so to make up for rather scatty posting for a while I decided to go all out with the ingredients for this one - Blackberry Trifle!

If you're unfamiliar with them; trifles generally have four layers; sponge at the bottom, then fruit, then custard, then whipped cream. Usually, at least where I'm from, raspberries are used, but with the theme being British/local/seasonal, I thought I'd branch out a bit.

Yes. I went blackberry picking again.

In my defence, this year was less horrific than the last - there were actually blackberries out this time around, which is always a good start - and it was all going rather well until, at the furthest possible point from home, my bag starting leaking purple juice all down my jeans and I was forced to rustle something up with (un-used! I stress that they were un-used!) dog poo bags. Will the humiliation ever end?

And traumatic experiences aside, I can at least say that I used organic, local, hand-picked blackberries, right?

For the cake part, I thought I probably couldn't get much more traditional and British than by using another of my Gran's old recipes; this madeira cake comes from the handwritten recipe book she gave my mum when she went to uni, back in, I don't know, Tudor times or something. This recipe book is practically an ancient relic, as you can imagine, which is why I don't have it with me at university, and thus why I can't tell you the recipe I used. I know, I'm hopeless.

My failings aside; this is a fabulous trifle - it's one of those puddings I always forget how much I like (until I realise I'm eating serving-spoonfuls straight out of the bowl, headfirst in the fridge). You can also make it ridiculously easily by using bought cake and tinned custard, and to be honest the charm of trifle is partly in doing this (I think it's a British thing. Er, or laziness).

Blackberry Trifle

Measurements for this are all very approximate, because I didn't really use them.

About 400g madeira cake (bought or homemade)
300ml double cream
150g cream cheese
couple of drops vanilla
400g tin custard
400g blackberries
4-5 tbsp water
2 tbsp caster sugar

1. For the base, break up the madeira cake into pieces and push into the bottom of a large serving bowl (I used an old one of my grandma's; bonus British points?). Simmer the blackberries in a pan with the sugar and water for a good few minutes until you have plenty of juice; there should be enough to soak into the sponge to give it that fantastic purple colour.

2. Spoon the blackberries and juice over the sponge and allow this to cool before covering it with the tinned custard.

3. For the topping, you can either just use plain whipped cream or fold in some cream cheese or mascarpone; I saw this in a trifle recipe ages ago but can't remember whose it was. Anyway, your cream should be lightly whipped (don't overwhip it) and dolloped over the custard layer. You might want more than I've suggested; it looks great if you're generous with the cream but proportions are personal preference, and I like less cream and more sponge.

To the Queen!

DB5: Dragging Arses Out Of Hiding Since 2008

Unexpected hiatus abounds!

I break my sorry silence with August's Daring Baker challenge - after totally failing to find the time to blog for two weeks, my long-standing fear of the DBers finally got me scurrying from my hiding place. You know how to get me to do whatever you want now; the threat of those Daring Baker hitmen always gets me moving...

In actual fact, it's not exactly the reveal date anymore, but I've decided it's still the 31st by virtue of the fact that I've not been to bed yet (late shift at work, sigh. And er, a trip to the pub afterwards, involving three separate people all trying and failing to teach me to play snooker. I managed to pot three balls eventually -out of about five games- but that does include the white one, twice). Besides, I couldn't let this post go by, not after all the effort to get it done.

In short: I woke up in a cold sweat two nights ago thinking the DB ninjas were lurking round my bedroom. Usually for a challenge I do it in parts throughout the month to minimise hyperventilation - for this one, I dragged my friend Alex round first thing in the morning and enlisted her aid asap.

(Alex gets a special mention today as Vice-President Camera-Owner; you may have remember me mentioning that my usual one died rather spectactularly a couple of weeks ago. It's now lying downstairs, practically with its feet in the air and its tongue stuck out. And yes, I could have got it fixed... but hello, I had eighteenth-birthday money to spend. In short: say hello to my new, shiny, beautiful Nikon D40. She is my soulmate. And also, apparently, female).

...But back to this month's challenge: chocolate eclairs.

Complete with choux pastry recipe with the fateful instructions: After the 7 minutes, slip the handle of a wooden spoon into the door to keep in ajar. When the éclairs have been in the oven for a total of 12 minutes, rotate the sheets top to bottom and front to back. Continue baking for a further 8 minutes or until the éclairs are puffed, golden and firm.

Oh. Oh, REALLY.

There is no 'slip a wooden spoon handle into the door' when you're cooking on an Aga, Daring Bakers. It just doesn't happen like that. What does happen is improvising shifts of two baking sheets of blobby pastry between the roasting and baking ovens - at which point they did look rather impressive - while pretending you can't hear your friend Alex going, 'my mum always puts slits in them now so the steam can get out, so they don't collapse or go soggy' ('THE DARING BAKERS KNOW EVERYTHING, THANK YOU ALEX.') I am apparently a stressful person to bake with.

Predictably, my choux pastry then collapsed and went soggy.

Alex is too good a friend to sit around laughing smugly (after five minutes or so, obviously), so we left the flat and soggy eclairs in the simmering oven to dry out (at a very low temperature) for a couple of hours. They did go crispy and over-baked, yes, but at least I could pick them up by then. If you were wondering; this is why my eclairs are all ugly and mis-shapen. Sigh.

I'm not a total failure. I decided not to make the pastry cream chocolate flavoured, simply because I'm not a big fan of chocolate cream, and instead added the hazelnut praline paste of last month's challenge. And the chocolate glaze on these things is to die for, though admittedly Alex did most of the work on that, while I was flailing around and breaking my mother's sink.

And maybe I'm a sucker for punishment, but yes. I will try choux pastry again. Just on a real oven. A real oven, with a door I can leave open. I dream of such things.

Recipe for Pierre Hermé’s Chocolate Éclairs here.

...I hope Alex helping is okay with the Daring Bakers, on reflection. Don't hurt her. Please don't hurt her. Or me. Or my camera.

Welcome To Wonderland: The Round-up!

Yeah, you all knew it would happen eventually, and here it is - the Welcome To Wonderland blog event round-up!

Hooray, &c. &c.

Before I go on, thank you so much to everyone who entered or even just expressed an interest; it really means a lot to me and I'm so chuffed that even one person wanted to get involved. I mean, obviously more than one person got involved (this would be a short round-up otherwise. I would be the only entrant). But you know what I mean.

So here goes!

First to the party is Sarah in Oshawa, ON, Canada, from What Smells So Good? Since you ask: Carnival Cookies (toffee pieces and amazing-coloured chocolate sunflower seeds? I'm there).

Savoury food has been in the minority of the WWW entries, as Nidhi in Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA correctly predicted. She made these amazing marbled tea eggs on her blog, Charche Chauke Ke.

By merit of using a sushi-rolling technique to make these incredible patterned cookies, I hereby declare Rita from Portugal the official coolest person in the universe. Her blog is Clumbsy Cookie, and she made Shikai-Maki Cookies!

I love the colours in this Steam Layer Rice Cake on My Kitchen Snippets. This entry comes from Gertrude in the USA; definitely perfect Wonderland food ^__^.

Another person awarded coolness points now: Joelen from Chicago for making sandwiches with alcohol in them. These are Margarita Chicken sandwiches, and yes; now I'm eighteen all my food will involve alcohol in some shape or form. Take a look at Joelen's Culinary Adventures!

Another amazing cookie rolling technique now from CookeMila in Madrid, Spain. Thankfully with pictures as my Spanish isn't so hot; but Google tools tell me that the name of these cookies translates as Ode To Spring - Oda A La Primavera! So cute XD.

I have to admit I saw these Pac-man Cheese Crackers on Tastorama and totally fell in love; as an added bonus Natasha from Serbia shares my love for Noel Fielding (be glad it's me hosting here; she would have you all dressing up for this XD)

Isa in Santiago, Chile has combined two of my favourite things on her blog, Isa's Cooking, for this one (no, not Noel Fielding this time); cupcakes and miniature food! Her Red Velvet Cupcake Bites are completely adorable, particularly when dwarfed by a full-sized cake stand. All together now: awww... She's also right to guess I've never had a red velvet cake; really got to do that!

A small interval now for the story of a girl with a foodie dream... Simran of Bombay Foodie may not have been able to put her supercute mice together but I think I'll let her off for her great post. If you have any ideas how to stick ears onto hardboiled eggs...!

Cakelaw in Australia had completely the right idea when she turned to Hello Cupcake for decorating ideas - I think I need this book! She made these amazing Dali-esque Sunflower Cupcakes on Laws of the Kitchen. And can the girl have a round of applause - three and a half hours decorating time?! That's dedication.

I love these Chocolate Buttons by Rhyleysgranny in Ireland - so simple, but so adorable! And paired with pink milk, I think my life may be complete. They can be found on Tea And Wheaten Bread!

Great food for a party now (and actually, who needs a party; I'm just in the mood for one of these) - Aloo Samosas on Annarasa - Essence of Food, made by Apu in the USA!

All the fun of recreational drugs with none of the negative side effects now (unless you count a sugar high?); Psychedelic Pinwheel Cookies from Linda in the Netherlands on her blog, Make Life Sweeter. Is there seriously a book called 'Wacky Cakes and Kooky Cookies'? Why don't I own it?

...And because there's always a point in a party where clear instructions become necessary; 'Eat Me' Cookies from SilverMoon in Australia on her blog, Dragon Musings. I also love her idea of little meringue mushrooms with gummy caterpillers; you'll know who to credit if I can't resist making some!

Okay, so I went with two pictures for the next entry - from Morgana in Madrid, Spain - because there were so many options to go with and I couldn't decide which I loved most! She submits Cake... Anything But Balls and has taken the 'cake ball' idea to a whole new level - cake mushrooms? Cake whales? Cake... cakes? I'm so blown away, here.

Yes, these are mini cake ice cream cones!

As if I wasn't over-excited enough here, the fantastic colours of the Rainbow Cupcakes on Epicurean Escapism will have me on the roof. These come from Zhulaiha in Singapore, and I am in love with them, for obvious reasons. Truly a tale of rainbows and Wonderland.

And finally, my own entry - Chequerboard Cake! I apologise for the horrible photo (my camera, displaying its typical perfect timing, decided to break, so I had to use my sister's) but you can expect a post on how to put this cake together in the very near future ^__^.

...Okay, I'm exhausted (whaat? Constant partying takes it all out of me). But once again - thank you so much to all entrants, I've loved everything you sent me and all the effort people have gone to. All in all; a pretty great birthday present! I'll blog with the chequerboard cake later this week (perhaps on my actual blogiversary, if I'm organised enough XD) though it's a bit of a busy one : A-Level results, Driving Theory test, and of course, a real-life party to plan.

Thank you everyone!

Beatin' The Heatin' (With A Bit Of Cheatin')

I know I've been all bitter and twisted over the total lack of summertime here in England, but all the same I've been getting urges to make ice cream since I came back from my holiday to Mallorca (Spain). Specifically, coconut ice cream - I must have eaten about a billion gallons of the stuff, but it was ridiculously good.


Of course, that wasn't the only coconut my friends and I encountered on our travels...


...but that's another story (his name, if you're wondering, is Angry Ted. He is currently sat in an empty champagne bottle in a corner of my bedroom, wearing a flower garland, a mini sombrero, and his trademark angry frown).

Anyway, by some totally bizarre coincidence, out of nowhere, today is a summer's day (I mean with like, sunshine, and heat and everything), so now seemed the time to throw these two recipes at you (two recipes! I'm so generous today. That's the sunshine talking).

Actually I think I suspect why this is. As it happens, Grace from A Southern Grace is hosting a 'Beat The Heat' event, calling for any kind of food as long as it requires no heat to make.


Here is where I start cheatin', cause I have to admit to some heatin'. And rhymin'. And knocking 'g's off verbs.

On the other hand, Grace does say in the rules that ice cream makers are allowed. And as I've made a sorbet and an ice cream here WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS, and none of that troublesome machinery, I'm hoping I have space to talk my way out of the rules a bit. If not, I'll only submit the pineapple sorbet recipe (which involves no heatin' at all) and just casually happen to also have a coconut ice cream recipe featured here too, by utter coincidence.

Not that you need an ice cream maker to make ice cream. I've neverever used an ice cream maker. It only takes two seconds or so on the hour, and if you're in all evening anyway where's the inconvenience? If people start commenting me saying 'I'd love to make this but I don't have an ice cream maker' I'll beat them up. YOU DON'T NEED ONE TO MAKE ICE CREAM. THINK OF YOUR ANCESTORS.

Pineapple Sorbet
I can't for the life of me find where I got this from.

1/2 pineapple, peeled and cored (500ml puree or 2 cups)
8-10 tbsp sugar
125ml (1/2 cup) water

1. Slice the pineapple into chunks and puree them in a blender with the sugar and water until smooth. Taste to see if you need to add any more sugar.

2. If you're gonna be swanky with your ENTIRELY UNECESSARY ice cream maker here, chill the mixture and then churn in your machine, according to manufacturer's instructions. Pour into a freezer proof bowl and return to the freezer.

3. If you're gonna be cool and old-school, pour the sorbet into a freezer proof bowl and return to the freezer. Once an hour, open it up and beat it to hell with a whisk or metal spoon (I use a metal spoon) to get out the ice crystals. You need to do this maybe four times to get a smooth texture, and then you can leave it to freeze for good.

The next thing you need to know is that this coconut ice cream is godly. I might just be filled with general goodwill towards mankind/dessert as a result of the good weather, but my sister will testify that upon eating the models in the photograph above (the reason I will never get into fashion photography; my sessions always end with a feeding frenzy) I stood around the kitchen shouting things like, 'THIS IS THE BEST ICE CREAM IN THE WORLD' and 'KILL ME NOW, SO I CAN DIE HAPPY' and 'DKGNSJKKSN YUM YUM' for about ten minutes.

If this appeals to you... haha.

Coconut Ice Cream
Adapted from Murphys Coconut and Rum Ice Cream

180g (1 cup)Sugar
5 Egg Yolks
175ml (3/4 cup)Cream
175ml (3/4 cup) Coconut milk
240ml (don't know how much that is in grams, sorry) (1 cup) Desiccated (dried and shredded) coconut
260ml (1 1/8 cup) Milk
1 tbsp Lemon Juice

The original recipe included 4 tbsp of Malibu or similar coconut rum, which I left out, despite actually having some. I think I was too lazy to go upstairs to get it.

Yield: 6 Servings (HA.)

1. Beat the sugar and egg yolks together until thick and pale yellow. Bring the milk to a simmer and beat it into the eggs and sugar in a slow stream.

2. Pour the mixture back into pan and place over low heat. Add the coconut milk. Stir until the custard thickens slightly (around 70C). Use a thermometer, as at 75C the eggs will scramble! (As I'm sure you can guess, I have no time for thermometers and such. Pfft. I did without). Refrigerate over night.

3. Toast half of the desiccated coconut over medium heat in a dry saucepan, stirring all the time, until they turn a golden colour. Allow to cool. (The original recipe had less coconut and toasted it all, but I only toasted half and left the rest plain, for the difference in texture; I was trying to recreate the stuff I had in Mallorca, which didn't have toasted coconut flakes).

4. Stir the coconut, rum (if using) and the lemon into the refrigerated custard. Whip the cream and gently fold in the custard. Realise you have forgotten you have a driving lesson and panic.

5. Freeze using a domestic ice cream machine, or cover and place in the freezer. Same instructions apply as for the sorbet if you don't have an ice cream machine.

This also reminds me to remind you that there's still loads of time to enter my own summer event, Welcome To Wonderland - if you're cookin' up (there go my 'g's again) anything whimsical or wonderful pleaseplease submit it and make a young girl happy. As you can guess, I smile upon cheaters.

Welcome To Wonderland - Party Time!

Dear fans loyal blog readers,

Some of you may know It may come as a nasty surprise to you to learn that my 18th birthday falls on the 16th of August, and that the day before this is my first blogiversary! (I know; my blog and I are twin souls. We're nearly as close as I am with the Queen) (aw, I wish I shared the Queen's birthday. That would be cool).

What better excuse for a blog party, I hear you cry? No better excuse! None at all!

Here's the deal.

I am, despite gravest misgivings, hosting my very first blog event. (At this point I will say, please participate, or I will cry and feel a fool) (Not really) (Well, maybe really). Between now and the 8th of August, I'd love it if anyone who wanted to be involved blogged something fitting the below criteria and emailed me with it, for a roundup on the 9th of August.

My real-life party is extreme fancy dress; imagine a charmingly whimsical (albeit probably with a macabre edge, because I am really a sadist) Wonderland, if Wonderland tripped down Harajuku Street, bounced between Oz a couple of times, circled Disneyland Castle, detoured through the Sixties and ended up in Noel Fielding's wardrobe.

(When describing this to my friend, she gave me a long look at this point and said slowly, '...so basically, you're having an LSD themed party?' Er, yes. Thankyou, Alison).

Anyway, I'd love to have food to fit this theme-in-inverted-commas, and since I have exhausted all my imagination on the above drug trip plan, this is where you come in. The criteria are:

• It must be food that I can serve at a party, since I'd love to try your recipes for the real thing.
• The theme is anything whimsical, weird and wonderful (WWW, since this is my online party. Ohoho. Sorry, I'll stop making jokes).
• Think trompe d'oeil food, layers, spirals, food on sticks , bright colours &c. &c.
• Entries can be sweet or savoury, and in any measurements (I can translate pretty quickly now)

Once you've blogged your entry (including a link to this post, please), email the following to outoftheblue.x[at]hotmail[dot]co[dot]uk with 'Welcome To Wonderland' as the title:

• Your name and location
• Blog name and URL
• Post URL
• Picture
• Name of entry

If you don't have a blog, just email me your name, the recipe and a picture and I'll include it in the roundup.

For more ideas of the kind of thing I'm planning, check out a couple more links - something like this would be suitably random, these are ridiculously impressive, Bakerella should just cater for me already, and I am one billion percent making these.

Really hoping to hear from you!!

DB 3: The Phantom Of The Opera

It's Daring Baker time!! And after this month's challenge, I've come to the conclusion that the DBers are not the ninja pirates I suspected they were.

They are, in fact, MAGICIANS.


To explain: I messed this up in more or less every possible way. The thing was, I'd decided to halve it, cause the original recipe made such an epic sized cake. So as I went along, I used half quantities of sugar, flour, butter... and then my brain malfuctioned (#1) and in went ALL the almonds (I seem to have an unconscious desire to waste ground almonds), all of whatever else, full quantities of buttercream for a half sized cake... you name it, I messed up the amounts of it.

The cake came out of the oven looking suspiciously All Right. I eyed it pensively, decided this must be Daring Baker magic, and continued on my merry way.

Brain malfunction #2: Deciding it would be a good idea to colour the syrup (oh yeah; full quantities of that) pink rather than the actual cake. Meant my cake was kind of marbled in places where the syrup had been poured over the sponge. Does that sound pretty? It was actually kind of crap.

I just like to shatter your illusions there. Sorry.

Then there was #3: Mixing the buttercream, putting it in a tub to be assembled the next day, and then remembering I'd wanted that to be pink as well, scraping it out, colouring it, and piling it all back in again.

#4: Deciding reading the recipe was once again not for me when it came to the mousse, and instead of melting the white chocolate with a couple of tbsp of the cream, chucking it all in. My mousse was not so much mousse as sauce. It tasted fantastic. But it was sauce. I left it in the freezer, hoping it would solidify a bit (I'm an optimist) but let me just say that recipes? Are written down for a reason. Oh Daring Bakers, you teach me so much.

#5: Actually I don't know if this was the fault of my brain or of my culinary skillz (which is worse?) but I had serious issues with the white chocolate glaze; everything started melting and dying and seizing up left right and centre. I made full quantities of that (on purpose this time!) and had to glaze the entire cake rather than just the top to try and hide the sorry state of affairs.

And this is where the Daring Bakers show their true colours as practioners of the magical arts: this cake was gorgeous. Despite the mad quantities, and the failure of my mousse, and my lack of recipe-reading, and the travesty I made of the glaze, this really was delicious, and a massive hit with my mum especially, who requested it as her birthday cake (me: 'O NOEZ!! NOT AGAIN!! DDD='). Looks like the Daring Bakers were watching over me XD.

I might go and sacrifice a lamb or something to them now. Or at least a batch of cookies.

Daring Bakers' Opéra Cake
(white chocolate & rosewater)
Recipe is here. I used half quantities. Mostly.

Anyone got any ideas what else I can make with rosewater essence? I loved it in this, and am dying to use it in other things. Expect rose flavoured everything for a few weeks, until the novelty wears off XD.